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15 January 2012 @ 01:32 am
Playing A Role [chapter 9]  
Title : Playing A Role [chapter 9]
Author : hanashiaru
Rating : PG
Genre: Romance. Angst-Fluff.
Pairing : YamaJima, YabuNoo
Summary : A secret was revealed in.. a happy family.
Warning: Uhm, since I still put Kazu in this ffic so... MPREG =3=a

A/N : Another story of... my ffics which are including Yamada twins and Kazu-chan


Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5   | Chapter 6  | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8



Nakajima Yuto’s love... and my mother’s attention. Those were the only things that I had in my entire life...

... until I decided to protect him, until I decided to give my life to him. My older brother, who was stupidly thinking that he was the only one in despair.

~000~


Nakajima Yuto’s love... and my mother’s attention, those were appeared because of the same reason. The classic reason that my brother never realized, the classic reason that I also never knew that it had hurt him so much. We both never realized it, the prove that we don’t understand each other even though we had an identical face.

Since we were child, I always spent my time for watching him play outside with the neighbors’ children. The way he smiled cutely, the way he led his friends to follow him, he had an ability to socialize with the others. I admired him, even until now... I still admire him. Meanwhile I was just sitting in the living room, reading my books that mother gave to me. I never really enjoyed for being together with people that I didn't really know. Semi-introvert, may be. And being a good older brother he was, of course he always forced me to play outside with him. However, I never wanted it and always refused it. He could naturally enjoy with his friends, but I wasn’t. Being alone was just... I don’t know, heaven?

‘Actually I have a younger brother! We’re twins! He’s so smart and—‘

And I could only smile while sitting behind the window whenever that cheerful voice rang into my ears.

Mother was spending a lot of time at home, she worked doing some business research at home. Whenever she had a break time, she always found me being alone in the living room as usual. And then... we chatted, we laughed, we spent a lot of time together. The activity was repeating again and again, maybe she didn’t realize the attention that was given to my older brother wasn’t that same as mine. However, I knew she loved my brother as well, she loved us... both of us. The different was only the amount of my name that was always mentioned too often... but it happened just because my brother spent a lot of his time outside, and my mother always together with me. That's all.

Elementary school.

For the first month we were always being together, he protected me and guided me anywhere. However, I spent my time with his friends—and the friends of him weren’t my type, they were so natural in society and I was not like them.

In the fourth grade, we were finally separated by our characters. I always saw him in the field, playing soccer with so much fangirls who were screaming his name like crazy. Meanwhile, I always just sat on the chair in the library, doing sharing with my friends about the subject of school lesson. I had friends, of course. However, I was in hypocrite situation. I didn’t like being alone, I didn’t wanna be seen to have a few friends so I always pretended for being able to enjoy with everyone around me—which naturally I only enjoyed being together with people who had the same interests as me.

So yes, I had so many friends with my kindness... that I did with my half-hearted. Even I pretended to be active in front of him, I yelled and smiled widely in front of him.. as if I was a cheerful kid.

Never did I knew that... I was trying to be him.

... pathetic? May be.

.
.
.

Nakajima Yuto was the first person who knew my true personality. He could see my smile wasn’t natural and he knew that I was always and always alone even though there were so many people around me.

’The first time I met you, Kyosuke. You kindly greeted me back wih your wide smile. It might be strange but.. I think that’s a smile of your brother, mind to show me the smile of yours?’

Even my mother never knew about it.

’Don’t tell me you wanna play the role of your brother? Are you trying to be your brother, Kyo?’

It hurt. But I was so glad that I finally found a person who knew me and acknowledged me.

So yes, he fell in love with me because he wanted to protect me, because I’m weak... he never choose Ryosuke because he thought that my brother was already happy with his own life.

And I fell for him as well.

.
.
.

The day when finally my brother showed me his true feeling... when he burst out crying and shouted out that he hated me and my mother...

... I realized that he was just too good in acting.

Because people never knew his true feeling, because I failed at my acting so that I got Nakajima Yuto’s love and my mother’s attention.

.
.
.

He drove the car.

But I knew he intended to kill me, or kill himself, or even kill both of us. I knew because he wasn’t acting, he was in his own role and the speed of the car was telling me. It would end up in ridiculous way if we really died tonight... and it would be really pathetic for him if he died, he failed to live his life in happiness and I failed to play my role as his twin.

I was happy enough.

Even though I lived in hypocrisy, but I felt the loves from the ones we really loved. How do I realize it... I was always surrounded by Yuto and my mother, and the ones who cared about them were only Yabu-senpai and our cousin, Kei Inoo. I had won... and it was enough.

“Ryosuke...”

...

“... actually.. they love you..”

I regretted that my tone was so low so that he couldn’t hear it. And it was my last line before his gleam on his eyes that I used to see when we were child... had completely disappeared.

CRASH

I even didn’t scream when a very loud sound of the lacing was heard, I suddenly felt numb on my legs as the first crash happened.. but I still tried to move, pulling his head into my chest before our car flipped and unknown solid things suddenly hit my head and my back for the uncountable times. My brother didn’t move a bit, he was just like a doll in my embrace. I kept encircling my arms around his head and his neck, pulling them closer as the final crash came... and it stopped.

The car was going to explode, I knew it. With all my strength and hiding my tremble, I pulled myself out of the car from the broken car window. It was hard, very hard since I could feel dizziness on my head, I didn’t see how much my blood that was going to waste and weakened me... and I didn’t care. We successfully out from the car, I pulled him again before an explosion—

BOOOM!!

—ah, it had happened quickly. For the very first time of my life, I felt so much proud to be able to protect my older brother. The role that usually he did. I stared at his face, my brother had fallen unconscious since his back was hit at the third crash.

“If this a punishment for me because I never recognized your feeling, Ryosuke.. then i’m sorry..”

My hands moved to embrace him again. I kissed his hair, smelling his familiar scent before I totally gave up for continouing struggled, I gave up trying to remove my name from the death god list. The only hope that I desired was just to see him smile again, to see him befriend with the thing named happiness again. Without me, he would get everything he wanted.

And with that, I closed my eyes, feeling relieved.

.
.
.

However, my brother’s life is going worse.

And I realized... this punishment hasn’t stopped. And the worst punishment is.. I can’t do anything, I’m just here, seeing and watching without giving any helps. No matter how much I would cry, scream, beg to the maker of life to fix their broken way of life... I couldn’t do anything but keep hoping.

~000~


Normal PoV

A normal Sunday morning.

The eight years old boy of Nakajima family took a heavy sigh. School that was boring as usual had taken a break, homeworks were done in a flash, and he didn’t know what the next thing he should do in this idle time. He looked up at his family neighbors who were enjoying this weekend and... ah, he was just wondering why he couldn’t live in that kind of normal life?

He wasn’t jealous, he was just wondering why. What was his sins, anyway? Was this a destiny to have a life like this?

Being normal was... he didn’t know how to describe it, because.. of course he never felt it. Even he wasn’t born from woman’s womb—but.. hey, like he cared, he was very glad for having Ryosuke as his mother. His mother was strong enough, having unnormal life like this was just unusual. He had felt hurt even in the young age, he had cried for uncountable times for a very hurt moment, he could think wisely for choosing a way and he had done something to his life... to his family.

He chuckled a little, why did he suddenly feel he was a little bit proud and happy to have acted in his own?

“Ah, I’m thinking something weird..” shaking his head, he closed the curtain of his room window and making his way to get out from the room.

He stretched his hands and yawned, as if he was enjoying the peaceful weekend. And he curved a wide smile when he found his father’s figure who was walking on the first floor.

“Pa—“

He suddenly decided to close his lips since he found out the direction that his father aimed.

Yes, his mother’s room.

***


Ryosuke’s head was lifted up and his body jerked around when the crack of the opened door was suddenly heard, making Yuto’s heart fell on a little bit of despair to see the reaction. The brown eyes of Ryosuke were staring at his eyes in agitate, as if the latter was waiting in fear about some bad absurdity things that Yuto would do. Yuto could see Ryosuke’s fingers were gripping the blanket tightly, even though the gaze was showing a little bit of warning, however Yuto absolutely knew that his spouse was in fear.

Yuto knew that it still took a long time for Ryosuke to calm everytime his spouse came. He had been restraining himself for not coming near to his spouse because he knew his existence wasn’t being wanted for this current time, even he also knew very well that he only made Ryosuke’s condition got worse... but he felt it had already taken a very long time and he didn’t know how much time he should take again.

Kazu was almost nine years old in two months, and Yuto still remembered the last time the boy snuggled happily in his mother’s embrace.. it was when the boy was five years old.

Four years. Four years had gone in a waste. So many bad things happened.

“Can I come in?” he tried to ask, very softly.

A hard shake from Ryosuke’s head.

“Even just for a little time?”

He hated this person.

Until this time Yuto still didn’t forget the horrible mistakes that this person did to him. However, he finally realized that he also made a great mistake to this person. He had suffered so much, but Ryosuke was thousand times more suffering... and it was because of him. Just like Inoo Kei had said some years ago. And probably Ryosuke also hated him so much for ever treating Ryosuke.. like this.

Everyone definitely ever made sins, and the sins of him were so much bigger.

He forgot about Kazu for awhile, he was still too selfish for never giving Kazu the careness together along with his spouse. He loved his child, but he forgot Kazu was always wondering why did Yuto and Ryosuke never shared the same room, why did Kazu never saw the smiles from Yuto and Ryosuke in the same time. He forgot about them. The careness was a single attention, and it was never enough for Kazu. Even though his child never said it verbally, he knew that Kazu never stopped questioning at that time.

Plus, he had treated his spouse in a horrible way, living here absolutely just like hell for Ryosuke if Kazu was not ever exist. For being able to hold those difficult time, Yuto realized that how strong Ryosuke was. Even though four years had passed in this way, but for raising Kazu until five years old and giving the best memories and behaviors... it was just... awakening him.

He clearly remembered how many times Yamada Kyosuke told him about this person, how much Kyosuke showed himself that this person was adored so much by his younger brother.

And he realized it was true.

“Don’t...”

He unconsciously had taken some steps forward, and the weak whimper strangely couldn’t stop his feet to stop.

“Please don’t... come..”

It was already too late because Ryosuke had screamed as Yuto took a grab on both of his hands, “Then tell me, Ryosuke. Why shouldn’t I come closer?”

Did he make a wrong movement? This would scare his spouse more. However Ryosuke wasn’t in a normal way to think, he was sick for a long time and hadn’t being cured. For treating him like this was just... not right. Kazu and Kei, even Yabu had being able to communicate with Ryosuke. Even Yuto had seen Ryosuke hugged his son and smile a little to respond every Kei and Yabu’s words. Ryosuke was going better, but why Yuto couldn’t see it with his presence?

“Ryosuke..”

“Don’t...” he said, bowing his head as he panted a breathe, his hands were struggling for being released, “... hold.. me.. don’t.. hold..”

Yuto was still persistent, he looked at his spouse continuously even though Ryosuke didn’t look at him back for this time. “Why can’t I hold you? Just tell me. Are you afraid of me?”

“Let.. go..” Ryosuke was still struggling on his hands.”LET.... GO! AAAAAARGH!”

The scream took a surprise of Yuto all the sudden, however he still didn’t release the grip. Not yet, even though his eyes were showing his worry, but he knew the grip wouldn’t hurt Ryosuke’s hands.

“Don’t scream! Just answer me! It will be easier if we talk, Ryosuke. Believe me! I won’t hurt you.”

Ryosuke was still screaming out as could Yuto only still stare at him. Restraining himself for not being affected by the scream, he wouldn’t stop until he could get a reaction. It took a long time before the screams decreased, slowly turned into a whimper again. Yuto could feel something wet fell onto his hands and he knew Ryosuke was crying slowly and hardly, for hearing the cries, it was just like Ryosuke could cry forever and endlessly.

Yuto’s heart immediately clenched for hearing the cries, it was just pure torture. He slowly released the grip, and no reaction that he got unless the cries went louder. “Hush now, Ryosuke...”

Ryosuke shook his header harder as the cries wouldn’t stop, his tiny body fell slowly onto his own knees with full of tremble.

Yuto’s hand softly rubbed Ryosuke’s back before slowly pulled him onto his chest to let Ryosuke snuggle onto him as Yuto’s arms wrapped around his fragile frame. No refusal, and Yuto was glad for it. “Everything will be alright if only you express your feeling with words, Ryosuke. Hush now.. tell me why are you crying..”

When was the last time he let this person cling onto him? He could feel this person’s body was getting so much tinnier than before.

Ryosuke suddenly gripped Yuto’s shirt tightly.

“Ryosuke?”

“... sorry.. I’m sorry.. why can’t you forgive me...”

Yuto’s lips were locked all the sudden.

“... I made mistakes... I took him away from you.. I lied to.. everyone.. but please.. I’m sorry.. and.. please stop.. stop hurting me..” Ryosuke’s head shook again on Yuto’s shoulder as the grip went tighter, the voice was still full of tremble just like his body, “... stop looking at me.. with that glare.. and stop comparing me.. with him. I am not him.. and never be him.. it hurt..”

Yuto smiled. No, it didn’t mean that he was happy on Ryosuke’s agony. He was just glad thet Ryosuke was really going better just like Kazu said before.

“.. please stop.. hurting me..”

Yuto could feel Ryosuke’s body shook harder on his chest.

“.. Yuto..”

And he couldn’t believe with his own heart. A single tear rolled down from his cheek slowly as he heard his name finally mentioned with the most sad pleading tone that he ever heard.

“Listen, Ryosuke.” He patted the guy’s head softly and he whispered in his ear, “There’s nothing should be afraid of. Don’t avoid me because I won’t hurt you again. Don’t feel guilty to me because I already forgive you. All you have to do just forgive me. Don’t cry, because people will be happy if you smile and talk, Ryosuke.”

Ryosuke didn’t answer.

“Ryosuke?” seriously, Yuto was worried all the sudden.

Still, silence was the one that answered him.

“Ryosuke—“

“L—LET ME GO!”

A shockment welcomed Yuto right at the time Ryosuke’s body wriggled, trying to escape from his embrace. And Ryosuke was successfully free due to the jolt of shockment that striked Yuto all the sudden.

“What’s happening? Ryosuke?” Yuto reached his hand to grab Ryosuke’s wrist again.

But Ryosuke slapped his hand, hardly.

“I’m hallucinating... you’re.. not him and.. DON’T!—DON’T EVER DARE TO TOUCH ME!”

Ryosuke crawled backward, panting hard and grabbed the blanket tightly as if that thing could protect him. A fear was striking him, Yuto could see it... and he didn’t understand why.

“Ryosuke, you’re not hallucinating—“

“DON’T TAKE A FORM AS HIM, DAMN IT, KYOSUKE! GET AWAY!” Ryosuke cried again with his trembling voice, slowly he was hiding his head into his folded knees. “Don’t make me... hurt him again.. don’t you satisfied with the last time?! Don’t you ever.. satisfied to make him.. almost die because of me? Get away!”

“Ryosuke, Ryosuke, hear me!”

“DON’T—“

Yuto leaned closer and trapped the petite body in a hug, a very strong hug that ever he gave. He was tired already, it wouldn’t ever meet an ending if he kept waiting indefinitely. Ryosuke screamed again, trying so hard to escape but Yuto’s mind was also filled with his own selfishness that was saying he never let this person fall into the darkness again.

“I’m Yuto, Ryosuke.”

However, Ryosuke still didn’t stop struggling to free himself. “Yuto... Yuto will never... Yuto will never forgive me! Let me go! Don’t.. ever come again!”

“I’m not a hallucation. I’m Yuto. Please, Ryosuke. Stop it. Your hallucination was created by your own chaotic thoughts, just believe me and you won’t see the painful delusion again.” Stroking Ryosuke’s hair softly, he loosened the hug when the treble was decreasing a little, not wanting to make this guy suffocated. “Moreover, Kyosuke will not ever make your life lay in a mess, he loves you and he doesn’t wanna hurt you. Those are just your delusions. Kyosuke will not do that.”

Yuto regretted some of his words for bringing Kyosuke into the topic. However, he had no other choice because all the words he had said.. those are true.

“He hates me..” Ryosuke whispered helplessly.

“He’s not.”

It was not Yuto’s voice.

“Kazu..” Ryosuke whimpered, once again he tried to release himself. “Help me..”

The boy tilted his head, his eyes went smaller and then scanning the room. “For what, Mama? You’re not in a dangerous situation. You’re safe.”

“Kazu, please..”

“Mama..” Kazu walked closer and climbed the bed, his used his hand to wipe his mother’s tears. “Don’t be afraid, he’s Papa. I’ve said it so many times before.”

“But..”

“Please, Ryosuke. What more scenes that you doubt?” Yuto finally released his spouse fully, a positive response because Ryosuke didn’t avoid him just like Ryosuke had struggled before.

“Why.. did you decide to.. forgive me?”

Yuto palmed Ryosuke’s cheeks, stroking them carefully, “Because I’ve made you suffer.”

“Yuto...”

“Hush now, don’t cry again, Ryosuke.” Yuto’s thumbs that were on Ryosuke’s hands quickly brushed the chubby cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for making you lose him. I’m sorry for ever doing a terrible lie to you, I’m sorry.. Yuto..”

Yuto took a heavy sigh, because deep inside his heart... yes, he still felt hurt. “Ryosuke, it had happened... just forget it already.”

“Kyosuke-san wants you to be happy, Mama. Don’t be like this. He already gave his life to you with so much hopes.. so please..”

Ryosuke laughed bitterly. “He’s still an idiot.. how can I be happy if he—”

“But when he was happy with Papa and Grannie, you were suffering.”

“Kazu..”

“Don’t be stubborn, Mama! We’ve tired so much!” Kazu pouted while crossing his arms, and he took a sigh. “Be happy, and Kyosuke-san will be happy too.”

Silence.

Yuto knew that it was rather hard for Ryosuke. He knew the twins very well, they might be having a lot of differences in character, but the sameness behavior that Yuto clearly knew... one of them couldn’t smile if he knew that the other was still left behind in agony.

“Can you two just restart again?”

Those words... was unexpectedly hard to be answered.

tsuzuku


shot me shot me, for taking eternity to update D:
i'm just hoping for not loosing the readers D"8 i'm sorry..
and.. dont worry, i dont intend to keep this ffic long in twist. lol. will meet the ending.. i dont know how much chapters left but.. i don't intend to make this longer -___-a
and if you ask... does ryo-chan has go back to normal already? so..  yeah you can say that, BUT, he's still having unstable emotion. 
typo will be fixed asap, i'm tired and sleepy =.=
aah, i've just watched risou no musuko eps 1, and i totally lost my feel on yuto for this ffic anyway! =)) ZOMG, YUTO! =)) /rambling

so, give me what's on your mind? D:
 
 
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
 
 
 
lumi-chanlu_mi_na on January 14th, 2012 08:00 pm (UTC)
omg 8DDDDDD
I was waiting for this!!!!! T_T
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:17 pm (UTC)
x9
Thank you so much for waiting.. :D.. and reading.. and put your comment here.. xDD
the last chapter is up .///.
gingchuoikoi on January 14th, 2012 09:52 pm (UTC)
pang pang pang /shotting/
/whacked/
lol~ i'll read this over and over again to think abt it carefully x'D Don't say that i don't need to do that x'D Why? Just because i love reading and thinking about your fic x'DDDDDD

btw the 1st impression on this chappie is that Ryo can't forgive himself.

and welcome back, my beloved writer <3
hanashiaru: nishiihanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:20 pm (UTC)
hn, you were thinking carefully about my ffic--it's 'analyzed' on my mind =))
ah yes, he hasnt forgiven himself. just like almost ryo-chan's character in the other ffics out there =w=b it suits his face afterall, to be tortured /koalapunched

last chapter is up .////. ah, and thank you so much for reading .///.
yutorin04yutorin04 on January 14th, 2012 10:16 pm (UTC)
this chapetr is ♥♥♥♥♥♥....

finally, ryosuke talked to Yuto... ><

and kazu is just too adorable.... ♥
hanashiaru: Yutohanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:25 pm (UTC)
ah really? xDD
yes, they talk each other x9 if only yuto did it faster, then ryochan also would be normal faster x9
kazu's adorable indeed! /screams xDD

last chapter is up x9
(Deleted comment)
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:26 pm (UTC)
hwkwkwk. new year, new spirit *eaa*
tense? xD
hehe, makasih udah mampir gaii-chaaan :D

last chapter is up .////.
nikasantosnikasantos on January 14th, 2012 10:17 pm (UTC)
OMG I waited sooo long~
And I love this sooo much <3
Like sooooo soooo soooo much
The wait was worth it...but nee-chan TTTT^TTT
It was too long~
Hhiihih
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:27 pm (UTC)
*laughs dryly* sorry for being too long in updating D"8
thank you for reading and.. loving it? xD
ahaha, i'm sorry. but.. the last chapter is up :D
nikasantosnikasantos on January 31st, 2012 05:12 pm (UTC)
Its oke neee~
Sorry for the long reply~

Haiiii Me ish Love It~!!!!

Haiii I read it already and love it so thank you soo much for this <3
(Deleted comment)
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:29 pm (UTC)
waa, 5 months, yea D"8
i cant believe that long i ignored this ffic .__.a
thank you for reading and commenting :DD

and last chapter is up .///.
Caro: within001azukin_notsumi on January 15th, 2012 01:47 am (UTC)
I can't believe my eyes!!
an update!! I'm so happy~

and it seems Ryosuke is caming back... **I hope so~**

thanks for this

hanashiaru: nishiihanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:30 pm (UTC)
./////////.
thank you.. if you're really happy xDDD

ahaha, he is. he's coming back xP

i'm the one who should say thank you! :D

last chapter is up .///.
kkad09: laughkkad09 on January 15th, 2012 03:37 am (UTC)
Yay~ finally, you updated, Cha-chan *huggles*

Such a relief that Ryo-chan is getting better even just a lil bit and Yuto and Kazu are always there. How I love lil Kazu~ <3 Mou, it seems like Ryo-chan is the only one still can't forgive himself ne *sobs* *hugs my Ryo-chan tightly* Babe, they love you. Pls be back soon, k?

Hope that we can see his bright smile soon >_

Arigatou and I can't wait for the next ne~ ^^
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:32 pm (UTC)
ahaha, finally .////.
ryosuke's so much better since chapter 8, actually, it was just on yuto he's.. like that. lol xDD
lil kazu is love indeed, ahahah. yes yes, babe ryo-chan definately be back ^ ^

thank you so much for visiting and..
last chapter is up .///.
fifi1048fifi1048 on January 15th, 2012 05:25 am (UTC)
I'm still here! omg! I'm still here. Yes! You updated! I have been waiting patiently. :')

Ryo-chan is gonna be okay. I'm glad he's gonna be okay. I'm glad it's finally gonna be alright. x')

"Yuto’s heart immediately clenched for hearing the cries, it was just pure torture. He slowly released the grip, and no reaction that he got unless the cries went louder. “Hush now, Ryosuke...”"
T~T They are finally able to be so close. They FINALLY are able to have contact with each other. OMG... Although I was still sad at the part whereby Ryo-chan still feared Yuto when he came into the room, I'm happy. I'm ecstatic to finally sense the care here.

"When was the last time he let this person cling onto him? He could feel this person’s body was getting so much tinnier than before."
*burst into tears* I'm crying because i'm happy that Yuto finally realise it. He finally cares about Ryo-chan. Yuto is there for Ryo-chan now. However, I feel so sad that Ryo-chan had suffered through so much. The worst suffering is when you are deprived of the sense of love. Ryo-chan was depriving himself from that. OMG~ The poor soul.

"“Can you two just restart again?”" Just restart already! Everyone should be given a second chance in life. After all the sufferings and pain. Everyone still deserve a little bit of happiness. Like Kyosuke said, I really hope to see Ryo-chan befriend with happiness again too. I hope everyone will be able to smile at the end.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UPDATING! THANK YOU! I will patiently wait for you to update again. Thank you! :')
zeon_avalanthezeon_avalanthe on January 16th, 2012 01:39 am (UTC)
i'm feeling happy that Ryosuke had started to open himself up in front of Yuto.. though he was still delusioned by his fear, he was getting better right ??
anyway, this is a good reconnection, after what had happened in the last chappie~ XDD

thanks for the update~
and update soon please~ XDD
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:37 pm (UTC)
rei-chan, where did you put you comment? =)) =))
lol. just forget it =))

he was getting better, hai ^ ^b
i wont make him suffer so long since he was always being the poor victim in every ffic (as an uke role though) -__-a

thank you so much for visiting ./////.
last chappie is up .///.
zeon_avalanthezeon_avalanthe on January 19th, 2012 09:22 am (UTC)
where ? here, of course..

thank God~

dou ita~
*off to read*
hanashiaru: Yutohanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:35 pm (UTC)
i'm happy that you're still waiting D"8

yes, i was just like 'oooh, it's their first time for being able to be so close~' when i wrote them. a bit of strange how to erase yuto's hate feeling for ryochan though .___.a

yuto's for ryo-chan indeed xDDD
the poor soul, hahaha =)) *pats ryochan*

they will restart again, believe me *I'm the God for this thing afterall LOL*

thank you so much for your visit! xDDD
and the last chapter is up .////.
baby, baby, baby, BABE!ryokawa619 on January 15th, 2012 06:14 am (UTC)
first... need to say sorry... this is the very first time i'm leaving you a comment though i've read most of your yamajima fics! *P.S. i LOVE Kazu!!!!*

another thing... thank you so much for updating!!!!! I've been waiting for this like forever!!!!
yatta... things are slowly going into place... please don't make yama-chan suffer a little more... *begs*
P.S. I've cried so many times on this fic! XD

thank you!!!!!!!!!! ^_________^
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:40 pm (UTC)
ahaha it's okay :D since i.. also be a silent reader .////. *owowowow*
KAZU IS LOVE INDEED! /whacked

:'D thank you for visitig also
i wont make yamachan suffer again lol, it's enough =)) i feel pity for him too =))

thank you again..
and the last chapter is up .///.
mochiuchi: yama:omochiuchi on January 15th, 2012 08:55 am (UTC)
Nechaaaan, you made my daaay >w< ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Can I babbling with Bahasa? :D

Akhirnya-akhirnya-akhirnya *nari hula-hula*
I don't know why, but I adore Kyosuke so much X')
Dan saya gak bisa berkata apa-apa lagi, this chapter is just so awesome >w< semoga mereka jadi keluarga utuh yang bahagia X)

Keep writing! *silently waiting for the next chapter*
hanashiaru: yamachaanhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:42 pm (UTC)
wkwkwk.

eh why? xD saia malah takut kyosuke dibenci entah kenapa.. D"8 hurhurr, bagus ada yang adore dia ahahahay asiiik *lempar kyo*
eheheh, pasti jadi keluarga yg utuh xD

last chapter is up.. no smut anyway =)) =))
makasih udah mampir juga :DDD
irmaniesirmanies on January 15th, 2012 11:15 am (UTC)
yaahh... aku nangis lagi dech... hahahaha... :p tp makasih bgt akhirnya Tari-chan update fanfic ini kyaaa.... aku suka bgt, akhirnya Ryosuke ngomong juga sm Yuto... semoga Ryosuke cepet sembuh dan mereka bertiga bisa jd keluarga yg utuh n bahagia ya... ^^

ga sabar baca kelanjutannya hehehehe... XD

*pake Bahasa, lg males pake English/PLAK* XDDD
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:43 pm (UTC)
eeh? kok nangis lagi? D"8
ryo-chan menderita lagi ya? lolol xDD

amiiin, mereka jadi keluarga sakinah mawa--*geplak mulut sebelum kumat* wkwkwk.

gpp, saia juga demenan pake bahasa indo x"D

makasih udah baca, irma-chan :D
last chappie is up .///.
Emimosquitonest on January 15th, 2012 12:17 pm (UTC)
poor ryosuke ~
i want to cry ~ T-T
thanks for update *hugs*
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:44 pm (UTC)
waa don't cry
wont make him any suffer again :D

thank you for visiting and..
last chapter is up x9
rikotan: yamajima-risoure_riko on January 15th, 2012 02:41 pm (UTC)
EHRM OKAY I JUST REALISED THAT I MISSED THE FIRST SPOT.
AND JUST WHEN MY LAPTOP CRASHED. /forever crying/

hihihihihihihihihi~
Please update soon :3 lemme cuddle Kazuhiro now okay?
AND OMGGGG RYOSUKE YOU'RE GONNA BE ALRIGHT ALREADY RIGHT?! ;A;
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:46 pm (UTC)
okay okay #prayforyourlaptop
is is alright already? .__.a

ah yes, you can cuddle him but be sure to bring him back or i'll kidnap yusuke-chan ^___________^
AND YES, HE'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT ;W;

thank you for visiting
last chapter is up..

... time to read your ffics tomorrow \*0*/
rikotan: yamajima-superdelicatere_riko on January 19th, 2012 03:06 pm (UTC)
Nope it's still dead unfortunately D:

Noooooo I'll return Kazu, don't kidnap our Yuusuke ;____;

And hopefully you'll like my fics *A*b
/I've not been writing for too long and probably losing touch on writing already ;_____;/
cmeonsmileagain: yamajima•lovecmeonsmileagain on January 15th, 2012 05:12 pm (UTC)
asdfghjkl; This chapter made me cry ~ (again) XD. All the previous chapters made me cry ~ . So touching. Love Kazu forever ♥.
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:48 pm (UTC)
x"D
thank you for crying-- *eh?*
xD aaa.. thank you so much for reading and commenting :D

kazu is born to be loved, lool.

thank you again..
and last chappie is up .////.
emerald_love_96emerald_love_96 on January 16th, 2012 09:14 am (UTC)
itu...... kalimat terakhir o_o sapa yg ngomong?
GYAAAAA <3 baca ulang ah dr awal /SHOT
gapapa telat update, yg penting msh diupdate =))
hanashiaruhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:48 pm (UTC)
kazu yang ngomong, hehe.
xDD
lol =))
ahahaha ntar update fanfic kalo gw udah punya anak beneran ah #WEI

makasih udah mampiir :D
last chappie is up .////.
Vai: 山島 ☆ Delicatekuramujii on January 17th, 2012 06:11 pm (UTC)
Banyak sekali ya komennya XD
Akhirnya nih chapter jalan juga konfliknya~
Ayo update lageeee! :D
hanashiaru: yamachaanhanashiaru on January 18th, 2012 07:50 pm (UTC)
oh memang dari hasil riset saia, fanfic saia yang bawa2 kazu emang biasanya mengundang komenter =w=b ... makanya, ke supermarket beli kazu sekarang juga #ngaco
xDDDDD

makasih udah mampiiir :D
last chappie is up .///.